There Is Hope
by shortbutsweetmont4
Summary: What if Jamie never died? What if she went into remission? What would happen to Landon and Jamie? What does life have in store for Landon and Jamie as they prepare for the birth of their first child? Summary sucks, but please read!
1. Chapter 1

**This idea just came to me today...this is my FIRST attempt at AWTR fanfiction...I write mostly 7th heaven stuff, but if you like this, check my other stories out! Please read and let me know what you think! Thanks!**

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It has been three months since Jamie and I were married. Since then, life's been going great, even considering her leukemia. She's been having her good days, as well as her bad days, as so many cancer patients do. Lately, this past month, she's surprisingly had mostly good days. I swear if you looked at her, you couldn't tell that she was sick. She always has this constant glow about her, but then again, maybe it's just me that sees it. But to me, my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world.

I heard Jamie stir beside me and I smiled. The fresh morning sunlight was streaming in the window, hitting her face. She squinted and scrunched her nose up. I chuckled slightly. I loved it when she did that. I loved each and every thing about her. She was my example of perfection.

She rolled onto her side and opened her eyes, resting her elbow on the bed and her head in her palm.

"Morning baby." She said, smiling.

"Hi honey. How are you feeling today?" I asked her.

"Great." She replied and leaned in for a gentle kiss. "Have I told you how much I love you lately?"  
"Oh…I never mind hearing it." I sighed.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, but I'll be surprised if you love me more than I love you, because it's impossible." I whispered, emphasizing the last word. She snuggled into my arms and I wrapped them around her, tightening my grip. I put my hands on her stomach and she placed hers on top of mine. I kissed the top of her head and she sighed happily. Moments like this were the ones where I wanted to freeze time and hold her forever. Every morning this would happen. We'd escape all of our troubles, worries, fears. We'd go into our own world where it was just us.

The phone rang, pulling me out of our fantasy. I groaned and rolled over, picking up the cordless phone on the nightstand.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi Landon."  
"Reverend, how are you?"  
"I'm ok. is Jamie right there?"  
"She sure is. Do you want to talk to her?"  
"No. I want to talk to you." I was a little shocked by his answer. He continued, "Can you go in the other room? I need to talk to you privately…I don't want to worry Jamie."  
"Um…sure." I said hesitantly. I cupped the phone with my hand. "I'll be right back babe." I whispered, walking downstairs quickly.

"Ok. I'm in the living room. What's going on Reverend?" I asked, sitting on the couch.

"Dr. Miller called me this morning. He's gotten some…strange results."

"Oh no…" I began, "Any idea what's happening?" I asked, resting my forehead in my free hand.

"They wouldn't tell me anything. They want us to go down there but I don't want Jamie to. I think it would scare her."  
"Reverend…she's a strong woman…" I started.

"It's no question as to whether or not she's strong enough. She is. She's been through a lot and I'm concerned about my daughter. Quite frankly, I think it'd be easier if she heard any news from you rather than him." He told me.

"I see where you're coming from and I respect that. What about Jamie?"  
"Just tell her everything when you get home."  
"Reverend? I'm scared. I can't do it alone."

"Do you want me to meet you there?"  
"Could you?" I asked hopefully.  
"Sure I can. I'll leave in five minutes."

"Thanks…dad?" I asked, unsure as to whether I was allowed to call him 'dad' or not.

"Yes. Dad." He confirmed. "Bye." He hung up. I pressed the 'end' button on the phone and I looked up at the ceiling. I shut my eyes and sighed. "God, help me get through this. Help me be strong for my wife. She's all I have." I whispered, wiping my slightly teary eyes. I got up off the couch and went upstairs. I put on my jeans, white t-shirt, and black flip flops. I put some gel in my hair and slipped my wedding ring back on. _My _wedding ring. A promise of never ending love to my wife. I intended to fulfill that promise and I'd do whatever it took to make sure she knew I loved her unconditionally, and I would even when she died. "I need to stop thinking like that." I whispered, shutting off the bathroom light. I looked at Jamie who was sleeping. "Sleep well my angel." I whispered, grabbing my keys. Just as I was about to leave, she whispered, "Where are you going?"

I turned around and smiled. "Going to the store." I lied to my wife, about an issue concerning her. I was either a good liar or good at hiding it. I must've hid it well, since she smiled. Of course, she was always smiling. "Pick me up some ice cream?" she asked hopefully.

"Mint chocolate chip?" I asked, knowing that's what she would want. She nodded and I went over to her, lightly kissing her cheek. "I'll be back soon." I whispered. She shut her eyes and I walked out of the bedroom. I felt bad about lying to her, I really did. I was just trying to protect her. I knew that eventually, the time would come where I couldn't protect her anymore, and that I'd just have to let go and let God. To be honest, I didn't want to. I never wanted to let go.

I got in my car and began the drive to her doctor's office. Unknowingly, tears began to stream down my face as the song "With Hope" played over the radio. I sang softly, my voice breaking the whole time.

_This is not at all_

_How we thought it was supposed to be_

_We had so many plans for you_

_We had so many dreams_

_And now you've gone away_

_And left us with the memories of your smile_

_And nothing we can say_

_And nothing we can do_

_Can take away the pain_

_The pain of losing you, but ..._

_We can cry with hope_

_We can say goodbye with hope_

_'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end_

_And we can grieve with hope_

_'Cause we believe with hope_

_There's a place where we'll see your face again_

_We'll see your face again_

_Never have I known_

_Anything so hard to understand_

_And never have I questioned more_

_The wisdom of God's plan_

_But through the cloud of tears_

_I see the Father's smile and say well done_

_And I imagine you_

_Where you wanted most to be_

_Seeing all your dreams come true_

_'Cause now you're home_

_And now you're free, and..._

_We can cry with hope_

_We can say goodbye with hope_

_'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end_

_And we can grieve with hope_

_'Cause we believe with hope_

_There's a place where we'll see your face again_

_We'll see your face again_

_We have this hope as an anchor_

_'Cause we believe that everything_

_God promised us is true, so …_

_We can cry with hope_

_We can say goodbye with hope_

_'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end_

_And we can grieve with hope_

_'Cause we believe with hope_

_There's a place by God's grace_

_There's a place where we'll see your face again_

_So we can cry with hope_

_And say goodbye with hope_

_We wait with hope_

_And we ache with hope_

_We hold on with hope_

_We let go with hope_

By the end of the song, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I parked the car in the office parking lot, turned it off, and leaned my forehead on the steering wheel. There, I cried. I cried for me, for Jamie, for my children that I would never hold in my arms and tell them how much their daddy loves them. "Why God! WHY?" I demanded. Jamie _was _my world and He was going to take her from me in the blink of an eye. That simple thought killed me. I wish I could die in her place. Then I thought about Jamie and what she'd tell me, 'You know how much you want to die for me and how sad you are? Imagine how God felt when He sent Jesus to die. Imagine the pain Jesus went through because He loves all of us so much.' I laughed. Typical Jamie, but I loved her more than life itself.

Jamie amazed me, every time I looked at her. She had no fear, no worry, but she had her dreams. We spent the majority of the last three months talking. We joked that if she wasn't sick, we'd want ten kids, and we really did. But because of her being sick, we would never have the chance to have one. And possibly with these new test results, she'd slip away from me sooner than we all expected. "Ok Landon. Get a hold of yourself." I whispered, wiping my teary eyes. I walked into the office seeing the Reverend waiting. He looked up from his old worn Bible and smiled softly at me. Never in a million years would I have imagined old Reverend Sullivan to be my father-in-law, let alone Jamie as my wife.

He stood, embracing me tightly and we sat. He opened his Bible again. "Romans 8:28 through 39…one of Jamie's favorites." he began. He read to me." And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  
Last year, if Reverend Sullivan tried to read a passage from the Bible to me, I would've scoffed. But now, it was so much more meaningful. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, God was there, orchestrating the past three months, let alone the rest of my life and Jamie's life. He looked at me, seeing my red puffy eyes from crying.

"Oh Landon…" He said, putting a hand sympathetically on my shoulder. "What's  
going through your mind son?"

"It's just…I feel so guilty. I treated her terribly and now she's my wife. My wife is dying. And I'm just going to miss her so much." I sniffed and wiped my eyes and continued. "I'll miss everything about her. Her smile, her laugh, her kisses, _everything. _And I know it sounds dumb but I'll miss your children, the one's we'll never have. She would've been a great mom and she said I would've been a great dad. We'll never meet any of our kids. We always joked that we wanted ten. We pray for them every night, telling them how much we love them all. She and I want kids so much. We'll never have that opportunity. I might not even have the opportunity to wake up beside my wife tomorrow morning."

"Aw Landon…that's not dumb. Why would you think that son?" he asked. He looked up at a nurse who was clearing her throat.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but Dr. Miller will see you two now." She said. I stood up and Reverend stood beside me. He patted my shoulder and we walked silently as the nurse led us into the office.

"Landon. Reverend." He nodded, shaking each of our hands. "Have a seat." He said as the nurse left. "I've been going over Jamie's test results repeatedly…and I just can't believe it. They've been…different for the past month." He began, sitting down and opening the folder with all of Jamie's medical information. Dad patted my knee and I looked down, bracing myself for the worst. I tried my best to hold back the burning tears that were threatening to come, and I put my head in my hands.

"Landon, Reverend." He began, smiling. "Jamie's in remission."

_There is hope._

**A/N- I know there are so many other stories like this so please give it a chance. Oneshot or full story? tell me in the reviews...so please leave lots of them!  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for the AMAZING reviews! I appreciate it…and because you all love this so much, I'm going to continue the story…not sure how long but I'll try. I'm glad you all like it! I didn't think it was the best…first AWTR fanfic…so I hope you like this chapter as well as you liked the last one!**

**Disclaimer-I own NOTHING but the story line. Song credit in the last chapter goes to Steven Curtis Chapman for With Hope. This goes for the rest of the story. I'll add song credits as I go…I love putting songs in my stories!**

_Last time…_

"_Landon, Reverend." He began, smiling. "Jamie's in remission."_

_There is hope.  
_

I lifted my head out of my hands quickly and blinked hard, not sure if I heard him correctly. I looked at the Reverend who had tears in his eyes and his mouth wide open in shock.

"Did you just say…she's…?" I began, stammering.

"Yes Landon. She's in remission." He grinned. I stood up and Dad did as well. We shook hands with Dr. Miller and walked out of the office in silence. I continued walking until the Reverend stopped me at the end of the sidewalk.

"Landon." He said, his voice breaking. I turned around, tears of joy flowing down my face. I smiled and he hugged me close and we sobbed in happiness. I pulled out of it, wiping my eyes. "Thank you Jesus." I whispered.

"Yes…thank you Jesus is right." He said, nodding.  
"Do you want to come back to the house with me and tell her?"  
"No…I'll let you do that." he winked. "I'll come by later."  
"Do you want to do dinner? I'll call my mom."

"Sure…but I'll give her a call. Give you two some time." He said.

"You sure?"

"Positive. Go home. Be with your wife." He said and I hugged him once more.  
"Thanks for everything dad. I'll call you."

"Alright son." He said, getting in his car and I waved as he drove away. I walked over to my car, getting in. The whole way home, I just couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't stop crying either. Jamie would be with me…for way longer that we all suspected. I couldn't wait to tell her. I couldn't wait to hold her in my arms and let her know how much I loved her.

I got to the house finally and ran out of my car, still having tears of joy streaming down my cheeks. I ran in the house, smelling breakfast and I went upstairs. Jamie was sitting on the bed with two plates, one for her and one for me of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. I sat down beside her, kissing her gently. She saw the tears on my face and wiped them away.

"Baby? What's wrong?"

"Jamie…I lied to you."

"Ok…" she looked confused. "That's no reason to cry."

"I know…but it's just that. Jamie…you're…"  
"I know Landon. I'm dying. It's ok to cry about it." she nodded in understanding.

"No Jamie…I lied about where I was going. I didn't go to the store. Your dad called today and said that Dr. Miller had some strange test results…"

"Am I getting worse?"  
"Let me finish! So I met your dad at the office and Jamie…" I broke out into a grin. "You're in remission."

She gasped, putting her hand over her mouth and she smiled. She cried and I wrapped her in my arms. I kissed her forehead and repeatedly told her that I loved her.

"Landon…I'm going to live." She said happily and I nodded. "I know baby. I know."

The rest of the morning was pretty much like that. Us holding each other and crying….laughing and praying, thanking God for the time that he's given us. She laid on our bed and I stroked her hair and I began to hum softly. She smiled, looking me in the eye.

"What are you humming baby?"  
"A song." I smiled.

"Sing it for me?"  
"You know I'm not great…"

"Sounds amazing to me." She sighed and smiled. I nodded.

"I say I love you, I say I need you  
I try so many ways to say how my heart beats for you  
I say I'm always thinking about you  
There's no way I'd want to face this life without you  
And even though these words come from deep inside me  
There's so much more I don't have the words to say

'Cause what I really want to say  
Is what the sun would say to the sky  
For giving it a place to come alive  
But my words get in the way  
Of what I really want to say  
Oh, what I really want to say

I know that sometimes my words can be as hard as stone  
And sometimes my words have left you feeling so alone  
So please forgive me and hear the words I'm saying now  
I will spend my whole life looking for a way somehow  
To let you know just how precious you are to me  
I'll use the best words I know but I still won't say it all

It's like a tale too great to be told  
It's something that my heart can only show  
I'm gonna take my whole life  
Just to let you know  
What I really want to say  
Oh, what I really want to say to you  
What I really want to say  
Oh, what I really want to say."

By the time I finished, she was sound asleep. I moved my arm away from her and kissed her gently. I walked downstairs, picking up the phone in the kitchen, calling my mom.

"Hello?"  
"Mom! Hi."

"Landon! Reverend Sullivan called me…I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Thanks mom. Did he mention that you two are invited to dinner?"  
"Yes he did. What time? What should I bring?"  
"Well I figured I'd put some burgers on the grill and maybe some corn on the cob?"  
"Sounds great…I'll bring fruit or something."

"Ok mom. Thanks."  
"No problem. When should I come?"  
"About 6?"  
"Ok. See you then."  
"Ok. Bye." I hung up and smiled, calling the Reverend.

"Hello?"  
"Hi dad."

"Landon! I didn't think I'd hear from you till later."  
"Well Jamie fell asleep…she and I didn't sleep much last night…"  
"Oh ok."  
"Well I told my mom to come over at 6."  
"Alright. I'll come then…and should I bring food?"  
"If you want to. I'm making burgers and corn…mom's bringing fruit…and Jamie will probably make some sort of dessert."  
"Alright. I'll bring something."  
"Thanks dad. Bye."  
"Bye. See you at six." I hung up the phone and sat on the couch. I heard Jamie's light footsteps coming down the stairs. I smiled as she sat beside me.  
"Landon?" she asked with a worried look on her face.  
"What's wrong baby?"  
"Are you sure you still want to be married to me?"  
I blinked and looked at her again. "What are you talking about baby?"  
"Well, I know you only married me to fulfill my number one before I died…and since I'm not going to be dying now…"

"Jamie…what makes you think I'd want to divorce you? Jamie…you are my world. I love you more than anything." I said with total sincerity in my voice.  
"Really?"  
"Absolutely."

"I was hoping you'd say that."  
"Now…about those ten kids Mrs. Carter…" I started and smiled.

"Do you really want ten?" she asked and I laughed.  
"Well…maybe five. But still…we had no siblings. I think it would be good if we had a big family."

"Exactly what I was thinking."

"When do you want these kids?"  
"Ummm…I was thinking now?" she hinted and I laughed. She smiled and I picked her up and we ran upstairs, shutting and locking the door behind us.

**Yeah you know what happens there…trying to keep it clean here folks! But I'm stopping there for today…man…trying to write 2 stories at once is very difficult lol…but I'm managing.**

**Please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the amazing feedback! I forgot the song credit AGAIN! Last chapter credit goes to Steven Curtis Chapman- What I Really Want to Say. Song credits for this chapter go to Joy Williams- I'm In Love With You, Steven Curtis Chapman-We Will Dance, and a portion of Only Hope by Mandy Moore…yeah a lot of songs I know! Make sure you read the author's note at the end please!**

_Last time…_

"_When do you want these kids?"_

"_Ummm…I was thinking now?" she hinted and I laughed. She smiled and I picked her up and we ran upstairs, shutting and locking the door behind us._

"I love you Landon." Jamie said to me after she had gotten dressed. She got onto her tip-toes and kissed me gently. She smiled and walked into the bathroom attached our bedroom. Oh, how I loved that smile. I put my pants on and walked into the bathroom, standing behind Jamie. She was brushing her hair and I smiled, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Why are you doing that? You're beautiful."

"Well if we go anywhere tonight…"

"Actually, our parents wanted to do something later. My mom wants to do burgers over here."  
"I don't wanna cook…" she groaned.  
"It's ok. I will…"  
"Maybe we can all go out to eat and celebrate instead?" she suggested, looking up at me.

"I'd like that. I'll call them." I said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. I went into our room and picking up the phone. After three rings, my mom picked up.

"Hello?"  
"Mom! Hey!"

"Landon…hi! How are you? How's Jamie?"  
"We're both fantastic." I said with a grin on my face. "Jamie and I wanted to know if you wanted to meet us for dinner tonight to celebrate?"  
"I thought we were eating at your place…"  
"Yeah well…she doesn't want to cook. She'd rather eat out….we can all hang out here afterwards though?" I offered.  
"Oh Landon I'd love to!" she agreed happily and I stifled my laughter. Jamie came and sat on the bed beside me and I rolled my eyes as my mom continued talking. Jamie covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.  
"Ok mom…yeah ok…see you there. Bye." I hung up and laughed.  
"Well dear…I hope Italian is ok with you cause that's what mom planned…" I said picking up the phone again and dialing Reverend Sullivan's house.

"Hello?"  
"Hey dad…it's Landon."  
"Hi. How are you?"

"Great. Jamie and I wanted to know if you wanted to meet us for dinner tonight instead of eating here…well us and my mom. Jamie and I don't want to cook." I added and he chuckled.

"I'd love to. Where are we going?"  
"Who knows…some new Italian place, apparently my mom's taking care of the reservations and everything…she's coming over here at six." I said, looking at my watch. "It's about 3 now…" I added.

"Ok. that's fine. I can ride with you guys?"  
"Of course. I'll see you at six." I said, hanging up the phone. Jamie smiled at me and I laid back on the bed, putting my hands behind my head. Jamie laid down and put her hand on my chest, resting her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head and she grinned.

"Is this how it's going to be Landon?" she asked, looking up at me.

"Hmm? What baby?" I asked, looking down into her gorgeous brown eyes.

"Will we always be like this? So much…in love?" she asked.

"Of course we will baby. You'll always be the most beautiful, amazing woman in the world. You'll always be my wife and I'll _always_ love you." I tried to reassure her. I think it worked because that same peaceful smile returned to her face.

"I was hoping you'd say that." she whispered, and I hugged her closer to me.  
"I love you so much."  
"I love you too." She paused for a moment, then looked back up at me. "I'm hungry. I can't wait until 6 o'clock to eat. I'm hungry now." She pleaded, looking at me, sticking out her bottom lip. "Please feed me?" she asked and I sighed in defeat.

"Fine. But only because I love you."

"How about…we go grab a bite to eat…and go shopping?" she asked and I groaned.

"Shopping? But Jamie…" she looked at me again, giving me her best 'puppy dog' face.  
"Fine." I said, sticking my tongue out and going to get our shoes out of the closet. I gave her flip flops to her and put mine on. She grabbed her purse and we locked up the house and got in the car.

"Thanks Landon." She said, pecking me on the cheek as I fastened my seatbelt.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" I sighed and she laughed as I pulled out of our driveway. The ride to the mall was pretty much silent, with an occasional question here and there. Once we got there, we went into the food court. We each got a piece of pizza and a Pepsi. We went and sat at a table by ourselves.

I took a bite into my pizza and Jamie smiled at me, biting into hers. She suddenly stopped eating and put the pizza down on the plate, her bright, warm smile leaving her face.

"What's wrong baby?"  
"Landon…did he say how long this will last?"  
"Honey, what are you talking about?" I asked, putting my pizza down and grabbing her hand in mine.  
"How long will I be in remission? How long do I have to live?"  
"Jamie…baby…he said it all depends. He said that it could last as little as a year…or it could end up leaving your body for good. He said in your case it looks promising." I said, trying to make her happy again.  
"But Landon….what if I am pregnant?"  
"What? What do you mean?" I asked, obviously confused.  
"What if we get pregnant? Then what Landon? What if I don't have nine months to live?"  
"Jamie, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it…ok?" I said, trying to avoid this topic all together. I didn't want to talk about the possibility of Jamie dying, nor did I like to. I didn't want to think about it either. "For now, let's just enjoy ourselves." I said, biting into my pizza again, not letting go of her hand.  
"What would I do without you?"  
"Not sure…but without you, I'd be miserable." I whispered.

"Me too baby…me too." She said, smiling at me and resuming eating. "There's the smile I love." I said and she winked at me.

We went shopping, picking up a few things for the house and new clothes for each of us. Before we knew it, it was 5:00.  
"Baby, we better get going! We need to change before our parents get to our house!" Jamie said looking at her watch and grabbing my hand as we ran out of the mall. We walked out the door, and looked for our car. As we looked, it started raining. "Oh great…." I sighed as the rain poured down. "I'm getting soaked!" I said, looking over at Jamie. But she wasn't complaining about the rain. She had dropped her bags and was dancing around, looking up at the sky, waving her hands in the air. I laughed. She was so carefree, so happy. I smiled, grabbing our bags and her hand. We ran to the car and got in quickly. We drove home as fast as we could. Once we pulled in the driveway, Jamie looked at me and smiled.

"Landon, can we dance in the rain?"  
"What baby?" I asked, puzzled.

"I want to dance with you…in the rain." She said and I smiled.

"Ok baby." I said, as she put a CD in the CD player. I got out of the car and she changed it to the last track on the CD. She turned it up as high as it would go and left the door open.

"May I have this dance Mrs. Carter?" I asked, holding my right hand out for her. She chuckled and smiled.

"Of course baby." She said, grabbing it and I wrapped my arm around her waist and we began to dance to the song.

_I've been waiting all my life for this morning  
Just to wake up next to you holding me  
And your head is resting gently on my shoulder  
Like you're whispering to me_

I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you  
So glad I found you  
I'm in love with you  


I pulled Jamie closer to me and she put her head on my shoulder. I smiled and kissed her forehead as we continued to sway to the music.

_  
When we're leaving dreams and rolling back the covers  
All at once we're getting ready for the day  
It's when you look at me in the mirror while you're shaving  
Before I go on my way, you say_

I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you  
You're the one I choose   
'Cause I'm in love

Love is joy and love is pain  
It's kissing in the rain  
It's doing dishes when it's late  
Isn't it, baby  
It's the art of compromise  
It's hellos and long goodbyes  
It's the picture of our lives  
Isn't it crazy

So I'll call you when I get to where I'm going  
And I'll tell everyone we know you said hello  
And without fail they'll ask me if I miss you  
Of course I do, you know I do

'Cause I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you  
You're the one I choose   
'Cause I'm in love  
I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you  
I love you just the same as I did the day  
I fell in love with you

"Jamie I love you." I said as she looked up at me and smiled.

"I love you too." She said, as the rain continued to pour.

"Come here…" I said as I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her passionately. As our lips met, a single streak of lightning shot through the sky, gently illuminating her features. I pulled out of it and she smiled and nodded. I leaned back in and kissed her once more, hugging her close to me and I picked her up and spun her around. Jamie laughed and kissed me gently. We heard another roll of thunder as we pulled out of the kiss. I sighed and looked up at the sky.

"Thanks Jamie…for letting me share this moment with you. This was amazing." I said, kissing her again.

"Dance again?"  
I laughed. "Sure, why not?" This time, I chose the song. I crawled in the car, grabbing the CD and putting it in, turning up the volume. I took her hand and began to hum along with the song.

_I've watched the sunrise in your eyes  
And I've seen the tears fall like the rain  
You've seen me fight so brave and strong  
You've held my hand when I'm afraid_

We've watched the seasons come and go  
We'll see them come and go again  
But in winter's chill, or summer's breeze  
One thing will not be changing

We will dance  
When the sun is shining  
In the pouring rain  
We'll spin and we'll sway  
And we will dance  
When the gentle breeze  
Becomes a hurricane  
The music will play  
And I'll take your hand  
And hold you close to me  
And we will dance

Sometimes it's hard to hold you tight  
Sometimes we feel so far apart  
Sometimes we dance as one  
And feel the beating of each others hearts

Some days the dance is slow and sweet  
Some days we're bouncing off the walls  
No matter how this world may turn  
Our love will keep us from falling'

And we will dance  
When the sun is shining  
In the pouring rain  
We'll spin and we'll sway  
And we will dance  
When the gentle breeze  
Becomes a hurricane  
The music will play  
And I'll take your hand  
And hold you close to me  
And we will dance

The music will play  
And I'll hold you close  
And I won't let you go  
Even when our steps  
Grow weak and slow  
Still I'll take your hand  
And hold you close to me  
And we, will dance

She laughed as I spun her around, and I wrapped my arms around her waist and she put her head on my shoulder and I quietly sang to her.

"_So I lay my head back down.  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours  
I know now, you're my only hope."_

She smiled and joined me in singing the song. Suddenly, two cars pulled into our driveway. We looked and it was my mom and her dad. We laughed as they got out.   
"I'm sorry mom! We completely lost track of time!" I said and she laughed.  
"Um…I guess you're not ready?" My mom asked and we both nodded 'no' and grinned. "Do we really need to go out mom? Can we just get take-out or something?" I asked, and she nodded. I smiled and invited them into our house. We got our bags out of the car and locked it, then walked in the house.

"Why aren't you two ready?" Reverend asked jokingly, crossing his arms as I shut the front door after we had all walked in.

"We were dancing…in the rain daddy." Jamie smiled, and hugged her dad.

"Um…I'll be back baby. I'm going to go change…mom can you go order Chinese?" I asked, hoping that she got my hint that we should leave Jamie and her father alone, since this was the first he saw her since the news of her remission.  
"Oh. Right. Sure." She said, walking in the kitchen. I quickly got dressed and went in the kitchen with my mom.

"Let's go get it. Let's let them alone…" I said and she nodded. "I'll just go tell Jamie that we're leaving." I walked into the living room and saw them reading the Bible together. I smiled and leaned against the doorway until Jamie saw me. "I'll be right back." I mouthed to her and she nodded, giving me the thumbs up. "Ok baby." She mouthed back. I turned to leave and heard the Reverend crying out of joy, and I smiled. _My wife was going to live._

**Sorry that took so long to update! Hope you liked it! Please review!**

**Any ideas! PLEASE! I need suggestions! What should I add in the story? HELP UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO END IT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm SOOO sorry I kept you guys hanging so long! I've been so busy with school and I've had a lot of writers block…so now I'm just sort of going with whatever I think of…so I hope it turns out ok…cause I figured you guys have been waiting long enough! I've decided that I'll alternate between his, hers, and then just in like a narrator's point of view (can't think of what that's called to save my life…third person?) so yeah…song credit- I'm Amazed by Lila McCann**

2 months later…

_Jamie's POV_

"Honey! I'm home!" Landon called and I heard the front door slam. I panicked, trying to find someplace to hide it. I couldn't let him see…not yet. I looked at myself in the mirror and nodded. I didn't look great, but I could care less. I sighed, turning off the bathroom light and walking into our room.  
"Where are you baby?" He yelled and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm coming darling!" I said sarcastically, walking downstairs. He kissed me lightly.  
"Hi honey."  
"Hi." I said quietly. "How was school?"  
"Boring. _Really_ boring."  
"I'm sorry babe." I said, kissing his cheek.  
"How was your day?"  
"Interesting…very interesting…" I trailed off, spacing out for a second.  
"Honey, is everything okay?" he asked and we sat down on the couch, and he grabbed my hand.  
"It's fine." I said and I smiled. _I'm just having your baby._ I thought to myself.

He raised his eyebrow and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "No you're not…" he started.  
"I'm fine! Don't worry about me." I said, tearing up.

"Whoaa baby…I didn't mean to make you cry…." He said, obviously seeing the tears that were threatening to fall. "What's going on?" he asked, rubbing my back. I shrugged it off.

"There's something bothering you. Let's go upstairs and talk." He said and I nodded as he took my hand and we walked upstairs. He sat on the bed and I walked in the bathroom, blowing my nose. I grabbed the test, putting it in my pocket. I walked back into our room and laid down.

"What's wrong? Are you alright? Is the leukemia back?"

"No it's not." I said, reaching in my pocket. I took out the test and gave it to him. He got wide-eyed, looking at the test. "There's something I should tell you…" I started.

"Pregnant." he whispered. He looked at the test, dumbfounded. It took him a while to look back up at me, and my eyes were full of tears.  
"I'm gonna be a daddy?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah baby, you really are." I said, crying. He smiled and put his hand under my chin.  
"I'm gonna be a daddy." He whispered, leaning in and kissing me. He pulled out of it and pressed his forehead against mine. I looked into his eyes, full of care, devotion, and love, not only to me, but to our baby.  
"I love you both. Thank you baby." He said, his voice breaking and I smiled.  
"So you're…happy about this?" I asked, nervously.

"Of course I am!" he said, grinning and I smiled. "Why would you think I wasn't?"  
"It's just that…you were having some doubts…."

"Honey…there's nothing I want more than to have a baby with you." He kissed me again and we fell back on the bed, and he held me tight in his arms, his arms protectively over my stomach. Over our baby. I smiled, knowing this is how I wanted to spend the rest of my life.

_Used to feel like rain fell down  
Even in the sun  
Every dream I ever had  
Always came undone  
So how is it possible  
I'm in your arms tonight_

I'm amazed  
How you found your way  
To my heart  
Broke through the dark  
It's so strange how life changes  
And suddenly  
You're loving' me  
And I'm amazed  
I'm amazed

Feel so safe inside your kiss  
Like I'm coming' home  
I never could imagine this  
When I was on my own  
Now nothing's impossible  
When I'm looking' in your eyes

I'm amazed  
How you found your way  
To my heart  
Broke through the dark  
It's so strange how life changes  
And suddenly  
You're loving' me  
And I'm amazed  
I'm amazed

A fuller life for me  
I can't believe  
That after all this time  
I'm smiling' again  
And I don't know when  
I've been more alive  


_I'm amazed  
How you found your way  
To my heart  
Broke through the dark  
It's so strange how life changes  
And suddenly  
You're loving' me  
And I'm amazed  
I'm amazed  
_

**Yeah I know it's short but I thought it was better than nothing at all. YAY! She's having a baby! Ok…suggestions for future chapters! Might as well start name & boy/girl suggestions now! I have a couple in mind but I'm also writing a 7th heaven story so that requires a LOT of baby names…so keep them coming and ill take each one into consideration. Thanks for reading and PLEASE review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Guys I feel TERRIBLE for not updating sooner. I've been SO busy. Hopefully, I'll be updating quicker now that I'm back into my crazy schedule. I've had like 10 papers since school started and I've been so incredibly busy. So here's the next chapter! I'm SO sorry for the wait…**

I woke up and I gently moved my arm from underneath Jamie. I looked at the clock; 4:00. We'd been asleep for almost two hours, and I woke up to my cell phone ringing. I looked at it. 'Mom'. "Crap." I whispered, opening my phone.  
"Hello?"

"Landon?"  
"Hi mom."

"Are you alright?"  
"Just woke up. Other than that, I couldn't be better." I smiled and Jamie woke up. I cupped my hand over the phone. "My mom." I whispered.  
"Dinner?" Jamie whispered back and I nodded.  
"Mom, Jamie and I were going to do burgers on the grill or something tonight. Want to join us? I'm going to call her dad too."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Positive. Come on over."  
"Alright Landon. I'll see you later…"  
"Yeah. Be here at six."  
"Okay. Bye."

I shut my phone and sighed.  
"The parents are coming over."  
"Do you want to tell them?" she asked, a smile never leaving her face.

"I don't know…maybe we should keep it to ourselves for a little while."  
"Yeah…I know…but I don't know if I can keep this a secret. I just…I can't believe it."  
"Me either. And I wasn't even trying." I joked.  
"Are you sure this is what you really want Landon?" she asked me. I looked down for a second and back at her. "Positive."  
"But you sounded really shocked when I told you. Why?"  
"I wasn't shocked. I was just…angry."  
"With who? Me?" she demanded and I sighed.  
"Jamie…"  
"No…don't 'Jamie' me. If you don't want this baby, just say so."  
"It's not that!"

"Then what is it Landon?"

"You wouldn't understand…"  
"Wouldn't understand what Landon? What? Suddenly I don't understand you? If you don't want this baby…" I cut her off.

"I'm scared of losing you!" I yelled and she stopped, eyes wide.

"What?"  
"Don't you think it crossed my mind that I feel guilty?"

"About what?"  
"I got you pregnant Jamie."  
"I'm well aware." She chuckled.

"No. that's not the point!"  
"Then what is the point? You say I don't understand…well make me understand."  
"I don't want to lose you Jamie. I mean…doesn't it worry you that your mom died after giving birth to you? That you might be weaker than most since you are in remission from leukemia? Did it cross your mind that I am scared to death of becoming like your father?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I don't want to be just a single father raising my child. I want you there too. And this scares me, Jamie. What if you die before the baby is born? What if you die giving birth?"  
"Landon. Do you think I want to think about this?" she whispered, her voice breaking and tears falling. "Do you honestly think that I'm not scared? Yes, I am weaker than most. And yes, there is a possibility that I won't make it. But Landon, you're going to be an amazing father, with or without me. Is that what you're worried about? That you won't be a good father? Because I know you will…"  
"Well, that…" I started.  
"And?"

"I don't want to do this without you. I don't think I can do this without you."

"Yes you can.."  
"No. Jamie…you made me who I am today. I'm NOTHING without you. I'm just worthless, bad-boy Landon Carter. I don't want to be that anymore."  
"Baby. You're not." She said, rubbing my arm.

"Without you, that's all I am. I don't want to become that again. Our child deserves more than that."  
"You won't ever be that again."

I paused for a moment.   
"I'm sorry I made you think about this. I'm just…scared."  
"I know you are. But don't worry. I'll always be here." she said, laying her head on my shoulder.  
"You're amazing, you know that?"  
She smiled. "I am not."  
"You are the strongest woman I know."

"You know what? Let's keep this a secret for another month or so."  
"My dad's coming home next month." I pointed out.  
"Perfect. Let's just enjoy this news ourselves."  
"I love you so much."

"I love you too Landon." She whispered, kissing me lightly.

**Yeah…this chapter wasn't great. But I felt like you deserved a chapter. I hope the dialogue isn't too difficult to follow. If it is, let me know and I'll go in and fix it. please review! And if you like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, read my new fanfic on that, called "I Wanted it Too". Links in my profile. Who knows when i'll update again...It'll be probably sometime this week. Give me suggestions. I NEED IDEAS IF YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE! Now…REVIEW!**


	6. AN please read

Guys...all I can say right now is I'M SO SORRY!

I am so angry with myself that I haven't updated in almost a month. I seriously wanna cry I'm so upset. I'm trying SO hard to think of something good...

I PROMISE I'll update really soon. I have two papers to write in four hours before I have to go to youth group...I will try as hard as I can to get another chapter up here by Wednesday night and then get another one up by Saturday...

I didn't get many reviews for the previous chapter so if you guys don't want me to continue, I won't. If you do, I suggest you review and send a few ideas my way!

Thanks guys...again, I'm sorry! A new chapter will be up soon


	7. Chapter 6

**Once again, I've taken forever to update, and I apologize. I have a lot of interesting things going on in my life right now, and I'm just now getting around to updating as I've been SO busy…church…and school…and my 1234567891231514 papers to write, and babysitting…let's just say, my life is HECTIC!!! But no worries! I'm back for a while…until my life gets hectic again…I'm in the middle of writing 2 papers and I needed a break…so I wanted to have some fun and wrote this. I'M SO SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG! Please don't hate me! **

**Landon's POV**

"Landon! Jamie! You guys home?" I heard my mom yell as the front door slammed shut.  
"I guess mom's here…" I said sarcastically and Jamie laughed as she ran a brush through her hair.

"Why are you doing that? You're gorgeous." I told her, planting a kiss on her forehead, then kissing my hand and placing it on her stomach and she smiled. I walked downstairs and Jamie followed me close behind. We got downstairs, finding my mom in the kitchen fixing hamburger meat. Jamie chuckled and hugged her.  
"Hi Mom." I said, following suit and hugging her. "You really didn't need to do this…I was going to do it." I tried to convince her.

"Yeah…well Landon, I know how you are. It never would've gotten done if I would've left it to you." She told me and Jamie stifled a laugh.  
"She's right you know." Jamie joked and I smirked. "You're lucky I love you woman." I teased and she stuck her tongue out at me.  
"Enough you two." My mom warned.  
"We're married now. We can do whatever we want." I pointed out.

"That all changes when you have kids son…" she told me.

"Okay mom. Okay..." I laughed and winked at Jamie.  
"You going to give me some grandbabies any time soon?" she asked and Jamie laughed.  
"Hmm…one of these days…" she teased and winked back at me.

"Mom…we'll be right back…" I said, grabbing her hand, walking into the dining room.  
"I can't wait." I whispered.  
"Huh?"  
"I want to tell them. Tonight."

"What happened to the whole 'wait a month' thing?" she asked, confused.  
"Well…I'm just too excited!" I said and she laughed. "No. I'm serious. I want them to know." I continued.  
"Okay baby…if that's what you want…but your dad…"  
"We'll call him right before we tell everyone…we can still tell them all together. Please? Have you forgotten speakerphone?" I begged, sticking my bottom lip out like I was in kindergarten, trying to be as convincing as possible.  
"Okay…if this is what you want Landon…"  
"It's what I want." I decided, nodding my head.

"Okay." She said quietly, leaning in and kissing me.  
"Everything okay?" my mom called from the kitchen.  
"Hello?" We heard someone call as we heard the back door open and shut again. I assumed it was Jamie's father. And sure enough it was. Jamie was tightly in my arms when he walked in.  
"Hi daddy." She said, smiling and hugging him. He kissed her forehead and then shook my hand.  
"How are you Landon?"  
"Just fine…and yourself?"  
"Pretty good if I must say." He said, looking around the room. My mom stuck her head into the dining room.  
"Landon…burgers need grilled." She pointed out. I sighed, kissing Jamie's cheek.  
"I'll be back in ten minutes." I said.

"Okay."

"And don't you think about telling them without me." I whispered in her ear as I walked away. I turned around and she winked at me as I left to walk outside.

**Jamie's POV**

By the time lunch was over, I couldn't wait to tell everyone. I smiled, squeezing Landon's hand under the table as he made small talk with my father while eating chocolate chip cookies that I had made. He looked at me and smiled. Obviously, he didn't get the hint that I was ready to tell, so I got up and began cleaning off the table. I took a pile of dirty dishes into the kitchen and began putting them in our dishwasher. Landon came up behind me, gently tickling my sides.  
"How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?" I asked, fumbling with the plate that I almost dropped out of my hands.  
"I'm sorry dear. It's just so cute when you laugh." He whispered in my ear, lightly kissing my cheek.  
"I want to tell them. Now." I said and he raised his eyebrows in my direction.  
"Now?"

"Yes. Now."  
"Can't we finish cleaning up first?" he asked, maybe a little too seriously.

"This is our baby we're talking about here…"  
"True…but don't you want to be able to just sit there and talk after we tell them instead of having to worry about the mountain of dishes?" he asked, gesturing towards the sink.  
"Landon, this is stupid. Fighting about dishes?" I asked, chuckling.  
"Yeah…it is dumb isn't it?" he asked and I nodded.  
"You know what? I'll help you get cleaned up and then we'll sit them down in the living room and tell them." He said, kissing his hand and placing it on my stomach.

I smiled and stood on my tipped toes and kissed him gently on the lips.

"That's all I ask." I whispered, kissing him again.

Landon and I sat on the couch, twiddling our thumbs after cleaning up after dinner. My dad and Landon's mom sat down on the couch opposite us as Landon cleared his throat and looked up at them.  
"Um mom…dad…we have something to tell you." Landon said as our parents' looked intently at us.

"What is it?" His mom asked. "Is it bad? Is the leukemia back?"  
"No! Oh of course not! We're as happy as ever!" I assured them.  
"Oh that's a relief…" my dad said, leaning back on the couch once again.  
"Mom…dad…" I began.  
"Jamie's pregnant." Landon blurted out before I could finish my sentence.  
'Sorry.' He mouthed and I smiled.

"Pregnant? Are you sure?" Dad asked me.  
"Positive." Landon said, never taking his eyes off of our parents. His mom was grinning the whole time, tears welling up in her eyes. We waited for a reaction from my father, when a grin slowly crept across his face.  
"A baby huh?" he confirmed and Landon and I both nodded.  
"Well then…Congratulations." He said, embracing the two of us, as well as Landon's mom. We called Landon's father shortly after and he was overjoyed. The day turned out exactly as I had imagined. It couldn't have been more perfect for either of us.

**Well…everyone's happy! And I'm sure you are too since I FINALLY got a chapter up here! aren't you proud?! You know…since I don't have enough to do (sarcasm), I started a LOST fanfiction as well…**

**I think I just totally lost my motivation for writing for like a month…now, I believe that it's back! So BE THRILLED! And read my lost fanfic if you like the show!!!!!**

**NOW REVIEW! And I'll update even sooner!**


	8. Chapter 7 and AN

**I think it's time that I bless you all with an update! And some bad news as well… **

**As you guys might have picked up on, I have an EXTREMELY busy schedule. I have Model UN (2 countries! 1 I haven't started, and a speech for the other for next week!), A HUGE final project for my college class, loads of history homework, AND I'm going to be out of town for Model UN Dec 7-9…AND another model UN is the next week (Dec 14-15). So, I think it's safe to say that I will NOT be updating till at least Dec. 16th, if not later. I'm very sorry, but as you can see, my schedules a little insane. I'm just taking a little break from homework to update all of my stories now since it'll be 2 weeks before I update again. But, as I come up with ideas, I'll jot them down so I can get a chapter up ASAP for you guys! **

"Could today have been any more amazing?" Jamie asked as she shut the door after my mother left.

"I don't think so. It was pretty amazing." I said, kissing her forehead lightly.

"It's official. We're going to be parents!" she said, grinning and hugging me.

"It's always been official…it's just…official for them now." I said, smiling.

"I'm hungry." She said, putting her hand on her stomach.

"Oh please…no weird cravings I hope?"  
She smiled. "Nothing weird." She shook her head.

"Well then, what is it?"  
"Peanut butter. And chocolate. Oh! Ice cream!" she said and I laughed.

"You're nuts woman." I said, shaking my head.

"Please?" she asked, looking at me with her big eyes and sticking out her bottom lip. I rolled my eyes.

"You think I'm going to fall for _that_?" I asked.

"Yup." She said innocently.  
I sighed. "Okay. Do you want me to make you a milkshake or go out and get some?"  
"Let's go out! Please?"  
"Let me grab my keys…" I said and she stood on her tip toes and kissed me.

"I love you." She said, running upstairs.

I smiled, walking into the kitchen and grabbing my cell phone and keys. I saw the door swing open and Jamie walked in with our coats and her purse. She gave me my jacket.

"I'm not carrying that." I said, pointing at her purse. "It doesn't match my shoes." I joked. She rolled her eyes.  
"Let's go." She said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my car. I opened the door for her to get in, then went on the driver's side and got in.

"Ice cream?"

"Do you want to see a movie?"

"You mean…like a date?"

"Yes. Let's go."

"Okay…"

Jamie chose to see The Guardian and then we went to Handel's **(really good ice cream place here…not sure if it's everywhere) **so that she could get her icecream.

"Now where to princess?" I asked, as I took a bite of my mint chocolate chip icecream.

"Home?"  
"Sounds good." I said, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot.

We sat in silence for a few moments as I drove.

"Our baby needs a name." Jamie said and I laughed.  
"I know honey."

"Let's talk about baby names tonight."

"Okay."

"I need a hot bath too." She said and I nodded. She smiled, leaning her head against the window and hummed to the song on the radio. I turned down the volume so I could hear her sing.

_Find me here  
Whisper to me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That's leading me  
To the place where I find peace again._

_You are the strength that keeps me walking.  
You are the hope that keeps me trusting.  
You are the light to my soul.  
You are my purpose...you're everything._

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest.  
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.  
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.  
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?_

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

_Cause you're all I want, You're all I need  
You're everything, everything  
You're all I want, You're all I need  
You're everything, everything._

_And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

I smiled, pulling into the driveway and we got out of the car. She and I walked upstairs and I started filling the bathtub with warm water. I sat down at the computer and heard Jamie go into the bathroom. I got up from my chair and walked into the bathroom, rolling up my sleeves and grabbing the shampoo.

"Turn around." I said, and she did so. I put some shampoo into my hands and then worked it into Jamie's hair. She smiled, closing her eyes.  
"How did I get so lucky?" she asked and I smiled.  
"Not sure." I joked.  
"Mmm…way to ruin a moment."  
"Oh I try…" I said and she rolled her eyes.  
"You finish up in here and then we'll look through some baby names." I said, wiping my hands on a towel. She nodded.

A few minutes later, she came out with her pajamas on. She got in bed beside me and grabbed the baby name book off of the night stand. I gave her a sheet of paper and a pen.

"Write down five girl names and five boy names." I instructed and she laughed.  
"Okay…." She said, taking them from me.  
After about five minutes of writing down names, we were finally done.

"You first." She said, pointing to me.  
"Okay…for girls I like Mackenzie, Haley, Madison, Emily, and Jennifer. For boys I like Noah, Zachary, Jacob, Christopher and David. You?"  
"Girls- Emily, Mackenzie, Haley, Lauren, and Rebecca. For boys I like Nathaniel, David, Zachary, Matthew, and Jordan."

"I like all of yours." I said, nodding my head.

"I like yours too." She said.

"How about you pick the boy's name and I'll pick the girl's name."

"Good idea." She said, grabbing her pen again. We each wrote a name on the paper, then exchanged papers. We looked at the papers, then at each other and grinned. "Perfect." We whispered.

**NOT TELLING YET! HAHA! **

**I'm thinking skip ahead a while…a couple months or so…should she find out what the baby is before its born or just wait? What do you think? PLEASE review! And tell me what names you like best for each boy and girl! **


	9. Chapter 8

**Wow…it's been almost a month! I'm SOOOOOO sorry guys! I can't apologize enough and I have absolutely no excuse other than laziness as to why I have not updated…I wish I did…but sadly, I don't. so here's another chapter! Hope it was worth the wait! I told you guys I was going to skip ahead, so I am!!!! **

I awoke and rolled over onto my side. The last six months have been extremely tiring, I must say. Well, it didn't help that last night was New Year's Eve and Landon and I were out partying, let alone the pregnancy. I placed my hands on my round belly and smiled. Landon and I had decided to wait to find out the gender of the baby until its born and we couldn't wait. My due date was quickly approaching. Exactly three months and two days from today to be exact. A smile slowly spread across my face as Landon walked into our room holding a tray with some pancakes on it and a tall glass of milk.

"Thank you honey." I said, smiling as he kissed me lightly on the forehead.

"How are my girls?"  
"Girls?" I questioned, taking a bite of pancake.

"I just have a feeling that the baby's a girl. That's all." He said smiling.

I nodded. "In that case, we're fine." I said. He paused for a moment, I could tell he was thinking.

"what's going through your head?"  
"There's so much to get done…the room, so much shopping, we still need to narrow down names..."  
"We did that MONTHS ago…"  
"I know…but what if we want options?"  
"Options?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah…what if we pick out a name and the baby gets here and we don't like the name for that baby?"  
"Landon…this is insane."  
"I'm sorry. I mean…I'm just new at this."  
"Oh yeah…and I've had fifteen children…" I said sarcastically, eating some more of my breakfast. "Do you want to go pick out paint today?"  
"Sure. Your dad said that he'd help me paint when you have your baby shower at my mom's next week."  
"That's nice of him." I said, smiling. "You know you have to make a guest appearance right?"  
"At a baby shower? With all of those crazy ladies? I think not." He said and I laughed.

"Well you're coming for at least a half an hour whether you like it or not. That's just how it goes…"

"Oh alright. Fine. You win." He said, groaning.  
"See? I knew you'd see it my way." I said, smiling in satisfaction as I finished my breakfast.

"I need a shower." I said and he nodded.  
"Okay. I'll go get ready too." He said, looking at his watch. "We'll leave in an hour. Okay?"  
"Alright. That works." I said, getting up and kissing him on the cheek.  
"I love you." I whispered as I walked into the bathroom.

"I've never been so tired in my whole life!" I groaned, sitting on the couch after we got back from shopping for two long hours.

"I STILL don't understand why we bought so much when you're having a baby shower next week!" I heard Landon's muffled voice coming from behind the half a dozen bags he was carrying. I giggled and got up, grabbing a couple bags from his arms and setting them on the floor.

"I kind of wish that we knew what we were having now that we need to go clothes shopping…" Landon said and I rolled my eyes.  
"It's not too late to find out. But I thought we agreed that we wanted to be surprised…"  
"Okay. Okay. Okay…." He said and I laughed.

"You hungry?" he asked and I nodded.  
"I'm six months pregnant and I've been shopping for two hours. It's a no-brainer that I'm hungry."  
"We have some left over pizza that we can eat…how's that? Then we can just watch a movie and sort through all the stuff we got today while we eat…."

"Sounds like fun."

Landon quickly heated the pizza and then sat by me on the couch.

"This is cute." I said, holding up a little dress.  
"No way my son is wearing that." he said, pointing at the pink dress I was holding up.  
"But you said that you think it's a girl…"  
"Well I do…but it COULD be a boy…cause you know…SOMEONE doesn't want to know…"  
"Yeah! You!" I said, throwing the dress at him.  
"That's it!" he said, picking up a small stuffed elephant and throwing it at me.  
"You're going down Carter!" I said, and soon enough, there was a mess of assorted baby clothes and toys all over our living room.

"Movie time!" he said, running over to the TV and putting in Pirates of the Caribbean.

"What a way to celebrate the new year…huh?" he asked, wrapping his arm around me.  
"Hey…I spent all day with my amazing husband…what else could I ask for?" I asked and he grinned.

"I love you so much Mrs. Carter." He said, kissing me. "And I love you too baby." He said, kissing my stomach softly. I smiled. There was no way that life could get better….well…there was one way, and it would be here in a few short months and I couldn't wait.


	10. Chapter 9

**Wow guys…I'm SOOOO sorry…I don't even have a valid excuse as to why I haven't updated…I feel awful…I can't apologize enough…thank you to all of you who continue reading eventhough it takes me forever to update!!**

**By the way…to Jannett Lopez….I think the part you're talking about is this…**

"_**I'm not carrying that." I said, pointing at her purse. "It doesn't match my shoes." I joked. She rolled her eyes.**_

"_**Let's go." She said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my car. I opened the door for her to get in, then went on the driver's side and got in.**_

**That's Landon talking…not Jamie…so yeah…maybe that clarifies a little bit. And thanks to you and Shadowroamer for the name suggestions…I like them all! Not sure what I'll use though! We'll see…**

"LANDON! Hurry up!" I called upstairs. "I have to be at your mom's in 5 MINUTES!"

Today was my baby shower and of course, it was the day that my husband HAD to be late.

"Don't stress out!" He yelled as he came downstairs. "We wouldn't you to have the baby in the middle of the living room would we?" he joked.

"Funny. When it happens you won't be laughing." I rolled my eyes and he chuckled.

"Well hurry up Jamie!" he teased as he walked out the back door.

"Landon Carter…what to do with you…" I said to myself as I shut and locked the door behind me. I got into his black SUV and shut the door. He looked at me and rolled his eyes and I laughed.

"What?"  
"Geez…what took you so long?" he joked, winking at me.

"Just drive." I said as he pulled out of our driveway. We got to his mom's right on time, even with Landon being incredibly late.

"I'll see you later…I'm going out with Eric."

I looked at my watch. "Well…it's 1 now…and the shower ends at 3:30…so you better be here in an hour and a half…gotta make your guest appearance."  
"But _Jamie…_" he whined.

"Hey stop whining. I have to spend all afternoon with the crazy church ladies and all of our crazy relatives…particularly _your_ crazy relatives."  
"Hey…that's love babe." He said, leaning in and kissing me.

"Yeah…love you too. See you at 2:15. No later." I said, getting out of the car and walking into my mother-in-law's house.

"Hi honey!" Mrs. Carter said as she opened the door for me, and stepped out of the way so I could walk through.

"Hi mom." I said, smiling and hugging her.  
"How are you feeling? How's my grandbaby?"  
"We're great. She's a little hyper today." I said, placing my hands on my growing stomach.  
"She?" She questioned me, raising her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

"Your son claims that he _knows _that it's a girl."  
"Any names? Narrowed down yet?"  
"Well…some that we like are Mackenzie, Haley, Madison, Emily and Lauren for girls. For boys, we liked Nathaniel, Zachary, Noah, Christopher, Jacob, David, Daniel, Matthew, and Jordan. But we pretty much have it narrowed down to either Lauren Madison and Emily Mackenzie and for boys it's down to Matthew David or Zachary Jacob. But in the next three months…who knows…we could come up with some other name that we like better."  
"Well I like them all so whatever you decide is good. I, however, like Emily Mackenzie and Zachary Jacob better."  
"Yeah…Landon picked those." I smiled.  
"He has good taste." She pointed out.

"He sure does." We paused for a minute.

"Would you like something to eat? Everyone will be here in about ten minutes.  
"Sure I would." I said, walking into the kitchen where two of Landon's cousins were sitting.  
"Hey Jennifer. Marisa." I said, nodding to the girls.

"Hey Jamie. How've you been?" they asked, hugging me.  
"I'm great. A little tired. A little sore. My husband's been making me go shopping for things for the nursery with him." I said, rolling my eyes. "Doesn't help that I'm pregnant."  
"You poor girl. What a mean son I have." Mrs. Carter said and I nodded in agreement.  
"Gotta love him though." I said, winking as I heard the doorbell. I opened the door, seeing about 10 bustling ladies from our church who were giddy with excitement.  
"Hello dear!" They all said, hugging me and kissing my cheek left and right. They kept patting my belly and telling me that I was glowing. I just nodded politely and motioned for them to go into the living room. "This should be fun…" I said to myself sarcastically as I shut the front door and joined the rest of the ladies in the living room.

2:15 couldn't have come sooner enough. Although I loved these people, I had to admit, the only person I wanted to see was my husband. I smiled as he ran through the door, right on time. He came up to me and kissed me gently on the lips.  
"How's it going?" he asked me quietly.

"Save me." I whispered and he laughed.  
"It can't be _that _bad…"  
"Oh yes it can…." I said, illustrating my point by gesturing to his great aunt Elizabeth.  
"Oh…I see your point." He said, laughing as she came over.

"There's my favorite nephew!!! How are you Lawrence?" she asked, hugging my husband and I stifled a laugh.

"It's Landon…" he whispered.  
"Yes. Yes. I know Larry."  
"_Landon._" He said again, but she ignored him. "Your wife Janice is glowing."  
"It's Jamie." I corrected her.  
"Sorry Janna. Well, I better get going. Great to see you Langdon."  
Landon just rolled his eyes. "Bye Aunt Elizabeth." He said as she left.

"She was a little closer that time." He told me, rolling his eyes.  
"She certainly is an interesting character…you'll never guess what she got us…"  
"What?" He asked, suddenly becoming nervous for my answer.

"A breast pump." I said quietly and his eyes got wide.  
"Oh honey…I'm so sorry." He said, shaking his head.

"Not your fault. She doesn't think about these things…"  
"You bet she doesn't. I don't think that she thinks at all…"  
I slapped his arm lightly. "Be nice."  
"I wish we could leave now." I said, laying my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me.  
"Me too baby." He said, kissing the top of my head. "Well…let's get out there and face the music." He said and I nodded.

"Yeah…better now than later." I said, grabbing his hand and walking into the living room.

Surprisingly, the rest of the shower went well. After what seemed like an eternity, it was 3:30. Landon and I dashed out of there and just spent the afternoon with each other. That night, I don't think I was more excited for my head to hit the pillow. I sighed, hoping that these next few months would fly by so I could finally hold my baby in my arms.


	11. Chapter 10

**Landon's POV**

Let me tell you, the last three months FLEW by! Jamie and I were frantically trying to get the nursery finished, buy everything she didn't get at the baby shower, and preparing for our little arrival. Her due date was only one week away, and I couldn't be more excited.

I looked at my watch. _7:30. _I groaned. We had to be at church in a little over an hour. I rolled over and tapped Jamie on the shoulder.

"Huh? What?" she asked, opening her eyes and smiling at me.

"You have to get up honey. We have to be at church in about an hour…and your dad won't be happy if we don't come. You feeling any better today?"  
"Yeah…I'm just ready to get this baby out of me." She said, rolling her eyes.

"I know what you mean…well…sort of…"

She smiled and kissed me. "I know." She whispered.

"We're gonna be great parents." I told her, smiling.

"What if I can't be a good mom?" she asked, me quietly.  
"Jamie…what are you talking about? You'll be the best mother around!" I said, trying to reassure her. Obviously, it didn't work since the worried look didn't leave her face.

"What's wrong honey? Why do you think you won't be a good mom?"  
"I didn't have a mom…." She said and it made sense. Her mom died when she was just born.  
"Or…what if I don't live? What if I die after giving birth like my mom?"

"Jamie…" I said, taking her in my arms and pulling her close to me. "That won't happen. Okay?"  
"You can't guarantee that. You can't guarantee anything." She said, her teary eyes looking in mine. "I just want to see my baby grow up. More than anything."  
"Me too baby." I said, kissing the top of her head. "You know what? We're not going to church today. I'm going to call your dad."  
"But you said yourself, he won't be happy."  
"Trust me…I'll talk to him. He'll understand." I said, winking.

"Okay…" she said warily.

I kissed her softly. "I'll be right back." I said, getting out of bed and walking downstairs into the living room, dialing my father-in-law's phone number.

"Hello?"  
"Dad? It's Landon."  
"Hi. How are you?"  
"I'm okay…how are you?"  
"Pretty good. Getting ready for church. Are you guys coming?"  
"Actually, no." I closed my eyes and I could picture his eyes getting serious. "And yes, it was my idea. But Dad…Jamie's having a really bad morning."  
"She's not having the baby is she?"  
"No…at least she hasn't said anything. But she's just really scared and she's been crying since she woke up…I think we just need to talk today. So I'm sorry we can't come."  
He sighed. "It's alright. Go take care of my daughter. I'll be over right after church."

I smiled. "Thanks Dad."  
"Do you want me to bring lunch?"  
"That'd be great." I said.

"Okay…I'll see you later."  
"Bye." I said, hanging up the phone. I walked back upstairs and saw Jamie still in bed, and I heard her crying softly. I rushed to her side and wrapped her in my arms, stroking her back.

"What's wrong Jamie?"  
"I just…I miss my mom…and I don't know if I can do this…" she said, wiping her eyes.  
"I'm sorry…it's the hormones." She said, trying to smile, but not succeeding.

"Jamie…I'm going to be here for you…okay? I'll _always _be here for you. I love you so much."  
"I love you too."  
"Do you want some breakfast?"  
"I sure would." She said. "Then can we work on the nursery?" she asked hopefully and I smiled.  
"We sure can." I said, smiling, and she smiled as well.

"There's a genuine Jamie smile." I said, and she chuckled.  
"Let's go downstairs." She said, and I grabbed her hands, helping her off the bed. We walked downstairs and I made some breakfast for the two of us.

I set two plates of pancakes and eggs on the table, and two glasses of milk on the table.

"Thanks honey." She said, smiling at me, beginning to eat.

"So…only a week left…"

"I know…it's crazy. I'm so excited." She said, smiling at me.

"Me too." I said. We talked about the nursery, the baby, and before we knew it, we were done eating. I cleaned up our mess, ushering Jamie upstairs.

"I'll be right back…I'm gonna go get dressed and I'll meet you in the nursery in ten minutes. I swear." She said and I nodded.  
"Take your time honey." I said, walking into the nursery. I ran my hands over the crib railing, and couldn't wait until we had a baby to put in it. my eyes scanned the room. All that really needed done was hanging up pictures and putting the final decorations in the room. We decided to paint the walls yellow with a Winnie the Pooh border and tan carpet. We had all light wood furniture in the room, and I'll have to admit, I was pretty proud of my work. I sat on the rocking chair, waiting on Jamie to come into the room.

Jamie walked into the room and smiled at me.

"I don't want to work on the nursery today." She said and I looked up at her.

"Why? It was your idea…"  
"Well…I want to…but we can't."  
"Why?" I asked, and she rolled her eyes at me.  
"My water broke…I'm in labor."  
"So? We can still do the nursery." Then, what she said registered. "Wait…you're in labor? Now?!" I asked and she nodded happily.  
"Yeah." She said, smiling at me. I ran to her, kissing her. "Well we need to get your bag packed and go!" I said.

"It's been in our closet for weeks." And with that, I dashed to our room, throwing on a t-shirt and jeans and grabbing her bag, running back to her.

"You okay?" I asked, wrapping my arm around her waist.

"Yeah. Let's just go." She said, her face scrunching up and I smiled at her, helping her downstairs, into the car, and drove to the hospital as quickly as I could.  
"Are you ready for this?" she asked me as we pulled into the hospital parking lot.  
"As ready as I'll ever be." I said, kissing her. "Let's go have a baby."

**WHOOOO! Yay! Okay…boy or girl?! FINAL name suggestions! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	12. Chapter 11

I smiled at my newborn baby as my husband wrapped his arms around me. Nine months, eleven hours of labor, and excruciating pain sure was worth it.

Landon sat in the bed beside me, stroking the baby's cheek with his index finger.

"She's gorgeous Jamie." He said, getting teary-eyed. "Thank you…for this…for everything."  
I smiled at him through my joyful tears. "What do you want to name her?"  
"I like the name Lauren." He said and I nodded.

"That was definitely one of my favorites….I don't think I like Lauren Madison anymore…" I said, frowning slightly.  
"Lauren Mackenzie?" he smiled. A grin spread across my face. "Lauren Mackenzie Carter. I love it." I said, kissing him.  
"You do?"  
"Absolutely."  
"But those were two names that I liked…you liked Emily and Madison."  
"Well…it is your daughter too…and besides…I think Lauren suits her."  
"So...Lauren it is." He said, smiling at me.

"You haven't gotten to hold her yet, have you?"  
He shook his head. "It's okay."

"Landon…come here right now." I said.  
"What if I break her?"  
I laughed. "You won't break her."  
"I haven't done this in ages…."  
"You'll be fine. Hold out your arms." I ordered, and he did so. I placed the newborn baby in his arms.  
"I swear….the biggest grin has to be on your face right now." I said and he looked at me, his eyes bright.  
"This has to be the best feeling in the entire world." He said and I smiled.  
"Fatherhood suits you Carter." I said and he smiled. "I'd hope so. Considering I am one…" he paused for a moment. "Gosh…I'm a daddy aren't I?" he asked and I laughed.  
"Yeah…yeah baby…you are." I grinned, my eyes brimming with tears. "She's absolutely perfect." He said and I nodded.  
"I'll have to agree with you there. We did good." I said, and he laughed.  
"We make some pretty good looking babies if I might say so."

"I love her so much…" I said. "Everything before this just seems…insignificant anymore."  
"I know what you mean…like…our lives had no meaning before this moment. Jamie…you've given me everything…"  
"I feel a sappy speech coming on." I joked. "I'm just kidding. Continue." I said as he sat on the edge of the bed, still holding Lauren tightly in his arms.  
"I mean…without you…I'd still be the jerk I was in high school. You changed me, Jamie. I'm now a good, Christian man who loves you and the Lord with all he has…and a father….never in a million years did I think I would be like this…I always assumed I'd never amount to anything. But then…you came along, and totally changed my life around. Jamie…I can never thank you enough for that. I can't thank you enough for introducing me to faith…to love…to hope…to trust…you are my world, baby. I love you so much." He said, leaning forward and kissing me.

"I think that might just be more beautiful than your wedding vows." I said, kissing him again and wiping my eyes. "That was beautiful, Landon."

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you….and with our children." He said, looking at Lauren.

_Never has there been and never again  
Will there be another you  
Fashioned by God's hand  
And perfectly planned  
To be just who you are  
And what He's been creating  
Since the first beat of your heart  
Is a living breathing priceless work of art and  
_

_I can see the fingerprints of God  
When I look at you  
I can see the fingerprints of God  
And I know its true  
You're a masterpiece  
That all creation quietly applauds  
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God_

_  
Just look at you  
You're a wonder in the making  
Oh and God's not through, no  
In fact, he's just getting started…_

**Yeah…I know it's short, and I'm sorry…but would you rather have me update like…once a month and be longer or once a week and be shorter? Haha**

**Like the name?  let me know what you think!**

**Song credit- Fingerprints of God by Steven Curtis Chapman**


	13. Chapter 12

"Landon! Get up and help me please!!!!" Jamie yelled irritably at me. I sighted, rolling over. It was two o'clock in the morning. Jamie and Lauren had been home for a week, and still, the routine was the same every night. Jamie would get up to feed Lauren, and then end up waking me up. I groaned, getting out of bed. "Coming!" I yelled back. I grabbed my hooded sweatshirt off of the dresser. I slipped it over my head, going into the nursery.

"Lauren Mackenzie…can't you sleep for more than three hours at a time?!" I joked. "Give her here…" I said, holding my hands out to my crying daughter. Jamie put her in my arms.

"Thanks. I've been up for an hour and a half with her, and I have a doctor's appointment at seven."  
I nodded. "Okay. How are you feeling?"  
"Pretty good. I can't complain. They just want to make sure the cancer isn't back."

"I know…I just get nervous." I said, frowning.

"Baby…it'll all be okay." She said, kissing my lips.  
"How can you be so sure?"  
"It's called faith, Landon. And faith is what it is…you have to have faith to know that God isn't going to put anything in your path that you can't handle."  
"I still don't understand, Jamie. Not only are our lives crazy with the baby…but I'm finishing college in a month…"  
"What are you going to do?"  
"Well…I'm thinking become a nurse at the hospital and work my way through medical school."  
She smiled at me. "Nurse Landon Carter…" she said, and I rolled my eyes.

"You make it sound so girly."  
She leaned in and kissed me again. "I love you. You'll be able to do this. We can handle anything that comes our way."  
"But how am I going to live without you?" I asked, and she frowned.

"Landon…the cancer isn't back. I know it. and if it is, and I do go, you'll be an amazing father to our daughter."  
I smiled weakly at her. "I'm sorry to be in such a depressing mood. I've just been thinking about this a lot since Lauren was born."  
She smiled back. "It's okay."

I sat down on the rocking chair and Jamie knelt beside me, rubbing her hands on my arm, then moving to Lauren. She was just looking up at me with her big blue eyes and I grinned.

"I never thought being a father would be like this…so…amazing. It's unreal to think that a person this small can hold your entire heart."  
Jamie sighed. "I know. She is beautiful, isn't she?"  
"She looks like her mom." I pointed out and Jamie smiled.

"She gets a few things from daddy too."

"Baby…go to bed. You have to get up in about four hours…so sleep. I'll be okay. I have class at 11:00 tomorrow…I'll be fine. Go to sleep."  
"You sure?"  
"Yes. Go."  
"Okay…" she said, leaning down and kissing Lauren's forehead. "Mommy loves you." she said and I smiled. She kissed me. "I love you."  
"I love you too."  
"I won't wake you…I'll be home around 8."  
"You sure you don't want me to come? I can get someone to watch Lauren…"  
"No…it's okay. My dad wants to go with me."  
"Great…leave the husband at home to worry."  
"I'll be fine. I'll see you later." She said, leaving the nursery and walking towards our room.  
"Oh Lauren….your mommy's nuts." I said rolling my eyes. Lauren's eyes began to shut.  
"I love you so much sweetheart." I said, kissing her forehead and rocking her until she finally was soundly asleep. I had apparently fallen asleep too, because I woke up and saw that it was 3:30. I got up, put Lauren in her crib, then walking quietly out of the room. I crawled in bed, and Jamie stirred. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close to me. I kissed her cheek and she laid her head back onto my shoulder.  
"I love you baby." I whispered, and then I drifted off to sleep.

"Get up, Landon. It's 9:00." I heard. I smiled, opening my eyes, only to shut them again because of the bright sunlight streaming through the window. I groaned and Jamie laughed.  
"Miss Lauren's awake." She said and I smiled.

"I figured."  
"What time did you come to bed?" she asked me, taking off her coat and setting that and her purse on our bed, before sitting down.  
"About 3:30."  
"It took that long to get her to sleep?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No. I fell asleep when I was rocking her." I said and she laughed.  
"Figures…" she paused for a moment. "I'm going to go get Lauren. I'll be back in two seconds." She said, dashing off to the nursery. She returned with Lauren, cradling her in her arms. She sat down once again beside me.

"Where's your dad?"

"He went home. He's coming over after you leave."

"Okay…" I said, sitting up, rubbing my eyes.

"What'd you find out at the doctor?"  
"I'm fine. No cancer." She said, smiling. I leaned in and kissed her. "Good. I'm glad."

"Did she get up at all?"  
"Yeah…she got up again at about 5…I didn't want to wake you up, and I got her down by 5:30. Right after you fed her this morning, she woke up again…it was right after you had left…got her back down by 7:30."  
"Sorry to wake you up." She said sheepishly.  
"It's alright sweetie." I said. "Do you want me to make breakfast?"  
"No. I already ate, but I'll make you some…" she offered.

"That'd be amazing. I'll get a shower."  
"Okay…I'll put her in the bassinet and then you can get her ready when you're done?"  
"Sure. I'll be down in about an hour."  
"Okay. I gotta clean up a bit anyways."  
"Thanks honey." I said, kissing her cheek and walking into the bathroom.

I came out about fifteen minutes later, and threw a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt on, then slipped a navy blue hoodie on before brushing my teeth and gelling my hair. I slipped my wedding ring on, before going back into our room. I put on some socks and my tennis shoes, then grabbed Lauren out of the bassinet. I went into her room, laying her on the changing table. I picked out a pink and white striped long-sleeved shirt and some white pants. I changed her diaper before putting the outfit on her. I grabbed a pacifier out of the drawer, putting it into her waiting mouth. I picked her up, cradling her in my arms. I planted a kiss on her forehead before jogging downstairs.

"Breakfast is ready!" Jamie called.

"I'm right here." I said, walking into the kitchen.  
"Right on time. Don't you two look cute!" she said and I smiled.  
"I'll take her while you eat." She said, and I put the baby in her arms.

We sat down at the kitchen table and I began eating my breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon. I took a swig of orange juice before looking at Jamie.  
"Thank you. this is amazing."  
"You're welcome." She smiled.

"Are you okay? You haven't said much…"  
"I'm just thinking." She said, sighing.

"About what?"  
"How lucky we are. Landon…when I was at the doctor this morning, there was a girl in there….a little older than me. She looked to be about eight months pregnant. the doctor told her she wouldn't live to see the baby reach six months."  
"That's awful…"  
"Landon…that could've been us!"  
"I know."

"We're so blessed, Landon. I'm alive. I'm healthy. I'm a mom! I'm a wife…two things I never thought I would be. Do you realize how lucky we are?"  
I nodded. "Absolutely. Every day, I'm reminded of how lucky I am, and how much I don't deserve all of this. But I was blessed with a beautiful and healthy wife and daughter…and you know what? You two make my whole life worth living."  
"But it's just so hard…"  
"I know. But with hope, we'll make it through. I know we will." I said, reaching across the table, grabbing her hand and stroking it with my thumb.

"I love you."  
"I love you too, _both_ of you, more than you will ever know."

**Guys…I'm running out of ideas. So if I don't get any, I'm dead serious…I will end this story next chapter. So I better get some reviews and ideas if you want me to continue. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, though. So let me know!!!**


	14. Chapter 13

**Sorry this is so short...but hey...at least it's an update:)  
**

_A month later…_

I woke up, feeling a pair of lips on my forehead head. I smiled, opening my eyes.

"You weren't supposed to wake up…" Landon said, groaning.

I smiled. "I love waking up like this."  
"Sorry I woke you up. Go back to bed…Lauren was up so I was with her…I have to go to class."

"It's six o'clock!" I said and he sighed.  
"I know...it's too early. I'll be home by 2:00 today. I have an interview at the hospital. Then I have to run to the library…I need to fill out some applications for med school…" He said and I smiled. "You'll be fine."  
"I love you. Call me if you need me."

I nodded. "Bye." He said, leaving the room. I shut my eyes, burying myself deep in my blankets, curling up in them and going back to sleep.  
My eyes shot open when I heard my daughter's cry. I got out of bed, walking into the nursery. I picked Lauren up, cradling her in my arms. I sat down in the rocking chair, feeding her. Sure enough, she ended up falling back asleep. I smiled down at her, kissing her forehead, then stood up and put her back in her crib.  
I went downstairs, taking the baby monitor with me. I hooked it up in the kitchen, beginning to prepare breakfast for myself. I hummed to myself as I prepared my toast. I sat at the kitchen table and ate quietly. I picked up the phone, dialing a familiar number.

"Hello?" I smiled when my mother-in-law answered the phone.  
"Mom…it's Jamie…"

"Hi! How are you? How's the baby?"  
"We're both great. Listen…Landon's gone all day at classes and job interviews…do you want to do something today?"  
"I'd love to. Do you want me to come over there?"  
"Could you? I don't want to bring Lauren out."  
"I sure can. I'll be there in a half an hour."

"Thanks. Bye." I hung up, running upstairs. I quickly got dressed, then got my daughter dressed.

Just as I was finishing dressing Lauren, the doorbell rang. I lifted her into my arms, going downstairs to open the door.

"Hi mom!" I said, hugging her, ushering her into the house. I handed Lauren into her waiting arms as I shut the door.

"So Landon left you alone all day?" she asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah…he's such a great guy…he's trying to get a job at the hospital and work his way through medical school."  
"That's crazy, Jamie."  
"I know…I need to get a job too…we're having problems just getting by with him working...let alone him starting med school. I need to get some sort of job…maybe run like a little daycare here…"  
"You'd be great at that…I'd wait another month though. You have plenty of women at church that you could watch their kids…charge like five dollars an hour for each kid…."  
"That's a really good idea, mom!" I smiled, satisfied. I knew that I'd talk to Landon about it tonight, and I knew that he would support me.

"How is Landon, by the way?" she asked me.

"Stressed out…tired…we've been getting practically no sleep with Lauren…"

"Yeah…sounds just like him when he was a baby…he never slept…"

I smiled. "He's so great about it though...even if he has to get up…Like this morning. She got up…he had to leave at six, but he got up with her anyways."  
"That's nice…letting you sleep."  
I nodded. "I feel bad though."  
"Hey…appreciate the help, Jamie. My ex-husband never helped me with Landon…"  
"That had to be rough. I can't imagine doing any of this without him." I said and she smiled. "You raised him well. He's an amazing man."  
She smiled. "I can't take all of the credit. You helped him so much, Jamie."  
"Well, thanks…I mean…" I was cut off by the phone ringing. I held up my index finger. "Hold that thought." I said, running into the kitchen.  
"Hello? Carter residence."  
"Mrs. Carter? I'm assuming you're Landon's wife?"  
"Yes I am…" I said, uncertainly.  
"Mrs. Carter…my name is Dr. Shephard. We have a problem here…"  
"Don't tell me…is Landon…."  
"He was involved in a head-on collision about twenty minutes ago…he was just brought into the ER a few minutes ago, and he's in critical condition. I'm so sorry."

I shut my eyes. _This couldn't be happening._ I told myself.

"Mrs. Carter?" I heard, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, Doctor. Thank you." I said, hanging up the phone.

I walked back into the living room, the tears threatening to fall. I threw my shoes and coat on, then grabbed my purse.

"Honey…what's going on?" mom asked me. I turned to look at her, my eyes red and puffy from the tears.  
"There's been an accident."

**Okay…I was told the story was too fluffy and needed something bad to happen…well there ya go! Happy now?**

**I'll update soon. I hope you liked it!**


	15. Chapter 14

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in like a month…and I know its short, but at least it's an update!!!**

I sighed, running my hands through my hair, then, wiped my eyes.

"Um…" I said quietly. "I'm going to head out to the hospital." I whispered.

Mom nodded. "I'll feed her and then come out."

I smiled weakly. "Thank you." I mouthed, grabbing my keys out of my purse. I kissed Lauren on the forehead and hugged mom, before excusing myself and hurriedly leaving the house.

I started the car, leaning my head on the steering wheel and began to sob uncontrollably. 'Things were going so great…' I thought. 'How could this be happening? Now? Like this?' I sighed, looking over my shoulder and backing out of the driveway. I drove down our street, turning on the radio.

_We can cry with hope_

_We can say goodbye with hope_

_'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no_

_And we can grieve with hope_

'Oh great…' I thought, changing the station.

_And she wonders where these dreams go  
Cause the world got in her way  
What's the point in ever trying?  
Nothing's changing anyway_

I rolled my eyes, changing it once again.

_To everyone who's lost someone they love  
Long before it was their time  
You feel like the days you had were not enough  
when you said goodbye_

"COME ON ALREADY!"I yelled to the radio.

_And with your final heartbeat __  
__Kiss the world goodbye __  
__Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side_

I groaned in frustration, shutting off the radio and resting my head in the palm of my hand as I drove the rest of the way to the hospital.

I got there as quickly as I could, running to the reception desk.

"Hello, may I help you?" The woman at the desk asked me, a little too cheerfully. I looked her up and down. She was wearing too much makeup and too much perfume. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. I smiled weakly.

"My husband was involved in a car crash…Landon Carter…"  
She nodded. "One moment." She typed in her computer.

I waited patiently, strumming my fingers on the desk. After a minute or so she nodded.

"Well...he's in the ICU…I think he's going in for surgery in about a half an hour."  
"Okay. Thank you." I said, trying to stay composed.

"2315!" she yelled after me as I walked away.

"Thank you!" I yelled back. I ran up the stairs to the second floor. 'I hate hospitals…' I thought. Last time I was in a hospital, I brought a baby into the world. But just the same, I spent much of my teenage years confined in a hospital bed, and this place definitely made me recall some of those unpleasant memories.

I walked down the hallway to Landon's room. "2307, 2309, 2311, 2313…2315.." I said to myself, walking down the hallway. "Here it is." I said to no one in particular.

I walked inside, seeing Landon. He had scratches all over his face, his wrist and his right leg in casts. He was obviously unconscious. He had a gas mask on his face and he looked incredibly pale. I covered my mouth with my hand. I heard a light knock on the door, and turned to find a doctor at the door.

"You must be Mrs. Carter…I'm Dr. Shephard." The man said, extending his hand for me to shake, and I did so.

"How is he?" I asked, shutting my eyes, fearful of the answer.

He shook his head. "He has to undergo surgery for his multiple injuries."  
"Will he be okay?"  
"There's no telling, honestly. He's going to suffer some serious damages."  
I was silent and he cleared his throat. "I'm going to give you some time with him before we take him into the OR."

I nodded. "Thank you." I whispered.

He left and I sat beside Landon on the bed. I took his left hand in mine, kissing it gently.  
"Landon…please…don't leave us. I can't raise a baby on my own…sweetheart, I need you. please…whatever you do…don't leave. I shouldn't have let you go this morning." I scolded myself. "Don't leave me." I pleaded, laying my head down on the bed and sobbing uncontrollably.

**Please review! I need suggestions for this!!! PLEASE!**


	16. AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ

Hello my loves!!! 

I'm posting this on all of my stories-just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about writing..I really haven't. I know I haven't updated in AGES but with my high school and college classes, term papers and finals, my life isn't too easy..so all my time goes into writing papers now. Believe me, I'd much rather write fanfiction. But right now, that's just not too easy. Plus, I'm dealing with a crapload of crazy drama so that's where my thoughts go when I'm not writing papers...but hey...that's my pathetic little life.

So, I guess I'm #1- apologizing that i haven't written in ages!!! #2- telling you that i WILL continue once my schedule gets a little less insane. #3- if you want me to update sooner, GIVE ME SOME IDEAS!!! they're greatly appreciated!

PLEASE be patient and bear with me..

-Renee


	17. Another author's note

OH MY GOD!! Guys, I'm SO sorry! I'm really still alive..my computer's been pretty screwed up, and the last month of school and the first part of my summer was CRAZY so I haven't had time to update…I can't apologize enough…does anyone even want me to continue? If you do, I'll try and update tonight or tomorrow (on ALL stories…)

If anyone still reads these, THANK YOU! And thanks for being so patient, and I apologize again for my lack of updates…

Love you all!

Renee


	18. Chapter 15 FINALLY!

I sat in the waiting room, a cup of coffee in my hand as my mother-in-law paced back and forth across the room holding my fussy daughter. I set the cup down and put my head in the palm of my hand and sighed. She came and sat down beside me, cradling Lauren in one arm and rubbing my back with the other.

"He's going to be fine, honey." She assured me.

"How can you be so sure?"  
"Because I know my son. He's the strongest man I've ever known."

"I know…but at the same time, it's all just so scary. Mom, how can I get through without him?"  
"Jamie, he's going to be fine. He wouldn't be gone to miss ANY of this. Jamie...if I know Landon like I think I do, he's fighting pretty hard right now to stay alive for you and for your daughter. He's going to make it through this. We all will."  
I heard the door open and in walked Eric, Landon's best friend. I stood and smiled weakly at him.  
"It's been too long…" I said as he embraced me.  
"Yeah…every time we meet any more, it's in hospitals."

I nodded. "We have to stop that."  
"Well…last time wasn't so bad." He smiled as mom placed Lauren in his arms.

"How is he?" He asked me, kissing my daughter on the forehead.

"I don't know. He's still in surgery right now and has been for the past…" I paused, looking at my watch. "two hours."  
"That's crazy."

"I know." I sighed. "This is not the way I wanted to spend my day."

"I don't think any of us wanted to spend the day in this way."  
"If I just would've done something…"  
"Jamie, there's NOTHING you could've done to prevent this. Don't blame yourself. It's fate. Landon was going to get in an accident whether you tried to do something or not."  
"Do you really believe that?"

He sighed. "I don't know, Jamie. I'm just trying to put in my two cents and make us all feel better."  
I rolled my eyes. "Well, thanks for trying. But I just don't know what to do or how to react…I'm just scared of losing him."  
"Landon's strong. He will get through this. We all will. And we'll all be stronger people because of it. You just have to have faith."  
"You sound like me." I said, smiling.

He laughed. "Someone has to." He paused for a moment. "You want to get something to eat?"  
I shook my head. "Can we just take a walk?"  
"Sure." He agreed.

"Mom, can you watch Lauren?" I asked, and she nodded, taking her from Eric's arms. He and I walked out of the waiting room and into the hallway, only to run into Dr. Shephard. He smiled when he saw me, shaking my hand.

"Hi Dr. Shephard."  
"Hello Jamie. And who is this?"  
"This is Landon's best friend, Eric. Eric, this is Dr. Shephard." The men shook hands and then Dr. Shephard turned his attention back to me.

"Landon's out of surgery, Jamie."

I tensed up, and grabbed Eric's hand. He smiled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"How is he?" I asked, partly afraid to hear the answer.

He paused for a long moment, then looked up at me and smiled.

"He's out of surgery. He's fine."

I sighed in relief, crying tears of joy and hugged Eric.

"When can we see him?" Eric asked.

"He'll be waking up within the hour, so you can go sit with him now if you'd like."  
I nodded. "Let me go get my daughter." I said, running as quickly as I could back to the waiting room, grabbing a sleeping Lauren out of her grandmother's arms.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing…everything's great. Landon's out of surgery!" I smiled, hugging her.

"Is he ok?"  
"As far as I know, yes. I'm going in to sit with him right now."  
"I'll leave you alone for a while…I'm going to run home for a little bit and make some phone calls…call me once he wakes up and I'll get lunch for the two of us and come back."  
I nodded. "Thanks for everything, mom."  
"You're welcome, sweetie."  
Eric walked up beside me. "I'm going to sit out here…let me know when it's ok for me to come in." I nodded. "Thank you for being here. It means everything to me."  
"You're so welcome. I love you guys." He hugged me.  
"Love you too." I said, turning in the opposite direction and walked to Landon's room.

I walked in the door, sitting beside his bed, grabbing his hand in mine. I smiled, tears of joy streaming down my face, knowing that unlike I had thought, everything was going to be alright.

**UPDATE! FINALLY! Did you like it? I expect a LOT of reviews….ready….GO!**


	19. Chapter 16

Landon had been home for two months now, and was still going through therapy to get his leg back into the condition it was before the accident. Things had been difficult, with Lauren just now being 4 months old…it was crazy, actually. But with Landon by my side, I knew we'd make it.

I was sitting on the couch at 1:30 am, just looking at the clock. Lauren had woken up, so I came downstairs to rock her and now she was sound asleep on my chest.

"Baby?" I heard Landon call from the base of the stairs.

"In here, Landon." I replied.

He came and sat beside me on the couch, kissing my cheek.

"Are you ok?"  
I nodded.

"You're not…you've been acting funny ever since I came home."

"I was just scared…ok?"  
"Of what?"  
"How can you say that, Landon! You know why I was scared!"  
He paused for a moment. "Jamie, I broke my arm and my leg. Some internal bleeding. That was it."

"Yeah, but Landon…what if it was worse?"  
"Don't ask 'what if'. It wasn't. That's all that matters. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm healthy. We're fine."  
"But you might not have been fine…and I guess the accident got me thinking…"  
He nodded. "About…"

"Us. Landon, my cancer could come back any minute. And I guess your accident was a reminder of just how fragile life is. And Landon, I guess it was just a reality check that we need to just live in the moment…cause who knows when it'll be our last. If med school is what you want, don't settle for less, Landon. Go for it!"  
He smiled at me. "That's really sweet, but where's this coming from?"  
"Just this fear that something's going to happen to one of us."  
"We're going to be FINE, Jamie! What happened to faith?"  
"I don't know…just now that I'm a mother, it scares me even more."

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "Jamie…there's something you're not telling me."  
My eyes filled with tears as I looked at my husband. I got up from the couch, putting Lauren in her bassinet and going back, sitting beside him.  
"Whatever it is, I still love you, Jamie."  
I cried even more. "Landon…I'm pregnant."  
He grinned. "Well why are you crying, Jamie? That's fantastic news!"

"But Landon…Lauren's only 4 months old…she'll be barely a year old when the baby gets here."

"Jamie…you're the one that's saying that we need to live in the moment! So let's live in the moment! We wanted more kids, so why not? We'll be fine. I'll put off med school. I'll work at the hospital. You work part-time from home for the next 9 months. We'll be fine! We're having a baby, Jamie!"

I smiled weakly. "I guess it's good news…I'm just scared."  
He laughed. "I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't scared…of COURSE I'm scared…but Jamie…we have each other. We can take comfort in that." he kissed my cheek lightly. "Do you know for sure?"  
I nodded. "Went to the doctor 2 days ago. He said I'm about 2 weeks pregnant.."

"Honey…stop worrying. We'll do it together. One day at a time."

I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder. "We have hope, Landon."

He smiled down at me, kissing me gently on the lips.  
"Now THAT'S my girl..."

**It's been a year, but it needed an ending!!!**

**I'm finally getting back into writing, but I ran out of ideas for this story…**

**Thanks to all who've continued to read!**


	20. Final Author's Note

**I really REALLY love all the reviews I get for this story--I honestly don't have the time to reply to every single one that I'm sent AND write, but if I could, I would.**

**I've gotten a LOT of requests to continue...**

**And since I've gotten SO many reviews for this story, I've made a decision...and I'm thinking sequel maybe? But I NEED some ideas! Some tangible ideas, please!**

**so anyways- I'm planning on continuing, but it won't be till the end of this month that I'd even get something up! But that's my goal**

**Do I fast-forward time? If so, how far? do I start up where I left off? :) and oh yeah--we need gender and NAMES! suggestions for either? send 'em my way!**

**Thanks to all who have read and **

**Keep in mind- I'm still in my brainstorming phase. there was a reason I cut off all my chapter stories. I've been writing edward/bella oneshots for twilight (if any of you have read the books, check them out!) It's a compilation called "And So The Lion Fell in Love with the Lamb"--it's obviously in my profile.**

**Anyways-- thanks for everything, guys! I'll be sure to let you know when I get something up!**

**-Renee**


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